前言 奧麗薇亞．福克斯．卡本尼Olivia Fox Cabane／作者 一八八六年的倫敦盛夏，格萊斯頓（William Gladstone）正與對手迪斯雷利（Benjamin Disraeli）角逐大英帝國首相一職。當時的英國正值鼎盛的維多利亞時期，因此誰能贏得這場選戰，就等於統御了大半個世界。選前一個星期，兩位候選人不約而同分別約了某位年輕女士外出吃晚餐。媒體隨後訪問了這位女士對這兩位男士的印象，她表示：「和格萊斯頓共進晚餐之後，我覺得他是全英國最聰明的人。但與迪斯雷利共進晚餐之後，我覺得自己才是全英國最聰明的人。」 猜猜看誰贏了選戰？勝選的是，讓對方感覺自己聰明、迷人且魅力十足的迪斯雷利。 魅力人士總會刻意或不經意的展現一些行為，讓別人確實感受到了他們的魅力。而這些行為其實每個人都做得到，只要透過適當的學習，就能不斷精進。已有實驗證明，研究人員確實有辦法提升或降低人們的魅力指數，就好似在轉動調控鈕一樣。 長久以來，我們對魅力的種種迷思都該被推翻了：魅力人士不一定得天生外向，外表也不見得要多吸引人，更沒有必要改變自己原來的性格。不論你是怎樣的人，魅力是大還是微小，從現在起，都有辦法大幅提升，並在工作與日常生活中收到成效。 三個常見迷思 最普遍的魅力迷思就是：生性活潑或擅於交際的人才可能散發魅力。 但根據一項非常有趣的研究結果指出，有的人個性內向卻魅力四射。過去我們都太重視外向的技巧與能力了，內向的人反而覺得自己有缺陷、缺乏自信。可是，個性內向並非缺陷，也不是無可救藥；事實上，我們稍後會發現，在特定的魅力類型，內向反倒占了很大的優勢。 另一項常見的魅力迷思是：你必須長相好看才會有魅力。 然而，史上有不計其數的魅力人士，壓根連美貌的最低標準都沾不上邊。一般人不會認為邱吉爾長得帥，他當然也不是以性感出名，但他卻是歷史上最具影響力、權勢最大的領導人之一。 不可諱言的，長得好看的確比較吃香，但沒有姣好臉蛋或身材的魅力人士大有人在。更何況，魅力本身就足以讓你變得更有吸引力。在某些實驗裡，受試者在依指示做出某些特定魅力行為後，他們的吸引力大幅提升。 第三個常見的魅力迷思是：你必須改變個性。換言之，你若想變得更有魅力，不需要強迫自己改變個性，也不必勉強自己去做違背內在本質的事。 三個談話技巧，迅速提升魅力 事實上，你只需要學習一些新技巧。 透過魅力訓練，你將學到如何展現具有魅力的儀態、如何溫柔的與人目光交會，以及如何調整聲音讓人專注聽你說話。下面三個談話技巧，能迅速提升你的魅力指數： ‧句子結束時，降低你說話的聲調。 你會發現，這些都只是小小的調整，並不是要徹底改變核心價值。你可以隨己所願保留本性，不需更改。 剛開始運用這些技巧和行為，會不會讓人不自在呢？或許會。然而，就像小時候學刷牙一樣，起初覺得不習慣，但現在它早已成為你每天不經大腦就可以做的一件事。就像大多數的新技巧一樣，展現魅力的行為起初可能讓你覺得彆扭，但透過練習，終究會成為你的第二天性，就和走路、講話、開車一樣自然。本書將一步步指引你學習這些行為，進而內化成為你的一部分。 無論是下棋、演唱或是擊出快速球，都需要刻意的練習。魅力這項技巧同樣必須透過刻意的練習來養成。更何況，我們隨時隨地都在與人互動，因此施展魅力的工具每天都派得上用場。 我相信人們的魅力指數能隨著刻意的練習而改變，因為我已經透過這樣的方式，幫助過無數的客戶提升個人魅力。我也訪談了客戶身邊的人，分別在課程前後詢問他們對這些客戶的看法；事實證明課程結束後，他們對這些人的看法也跟著改變。此外，受加州大學柏克萊分校商學院的委託，我也在該校大學部與研究所開設了一系列魅力與領導力的完整課程，傳授這些魅力工具。 跟著本書的指示練習，你將能提升個人魅力。這些工具一旦成為你的第二天性，便會深植於你的大腦，讓你的舉止自然散發出魅力，這將是你從此以後重要的能力。 本書能帶給你什麼幫助？ 魅力是門學問，所以我認為：先學習其背後行為與認知科學，再設法整理出最實用的工具與技術。本書會協助你將理論付諸實踐，進而加速你的學習曲線。 書中會提供一些事半功倍的工具，還有從各領域整合出最佳且最有效的技巧｜包含行為、認知與神經科學，以及冥想等廣泛領域；至於技巧，則是從頂尖運動員的訓練到好萊塢的方法演技（Method Acting）都將一一介紹。 我也會列出相關（有趣或吸引人）的學術理論，但更重要的是，我會提供非常實用的工具。我想傳授一些可以讓人隨時派上用場的訣竅，等你擁有足夠的技巧與自信後，就能有登峰造極的表現了。 然而，光是閱讀不去實踐，效果勢必有限。想要看到成效，就必須用心將書中內容付諸實行。如果某個練習要求你閉上雙眼，想像一幕景象，請你確實閉上眼睛，照著去做。假如要你寫下一段情境，請拿出紙筆開始書寫。 每當我受聘到公司訓練主管時，他們都必須配合做到這點，因為沒有別人可以代替他們做這些練習。若只是快速翻看這些練習，誠心誠意允諾自己「以後」再做是行不通的；此外，你也不能只挑看似容易或有趣的練習來做。我之所以會要求你做某件事，一定有我的道理，而且它勢必會實際提升你的魅力指數。 你在本書學到的技巧，有些能產生立竿見影的效果，像是學習如何在一大群人或幾個人面前，以魅力之姿發表言論；有的技巧則得花上好幾個星期才會見效。有些技巧可能出乎你意料之外，譬如你會發現，腳趾頭竟然是你展現最大魅力潛能的關鍵。 我請教一位客戶，他可以提供初學者哪些建議？他表示：「妳不妨跟他們這麼說：雖然剛開始讓人想奪門而出，還會被帶離原有的舒適圈，但這一切都是值得的。」許下承諾，好好做你的功課吧！ 推薦序 特力集團執行長 童至祥 在閱讀了《魅力學》這本書後，發現它非常實用。談到魅力，人們很容易聯想到擁有吸睛外表的明星，或是能言善道、口才極佳的公眾人物；也有許多人認為魅力是與生俱來的，有魅力的人都是外向的。然而，本書強調魅力是一種技巧，可以經由後天練習來訓練，不見得要有引人注目的外表或出眾的口才，甚至要忠於自我，不需改變自己原來的性格。 我認為，魅力是要由心出發，出自真誠，是一種結合正確的心態、適當的肢體、語言和行為所展現的一致性感受。比如你很欣賞某一位名人或是身邊好友，你可以先觀察他／她所具備的特質，而這些特質如你也很想擁有，可以先試著打從內心培養能產生這些特質的思維，再經由不斷地練習，將思維內化成自己的一部份，讓表現出的肢體語言與行為，也能具備這樣的特質。 現代人每天被各種行動裝置的資訊給包圍，為了應付忙碌的生活及工作，往往一心多用，無法專注於當下。不論是在公司開會、與好友聚餐、或和家人相處時，常常同時處理好幾件事。最常看到的是一家人或一群朋友在餐廳聚餐，每個人各自低頭滑動手機、傳送訊息，反而失掉了聚會真正的目的。這些行為都會讓對方對你產生心不在焉的感覺，也可能帶來不夠可靠、誠懇的印象。甚至會嚴重地讓你在工作上失去別人的信任，或是破壞親友間的關係。因此，我非常認同作者的觀點，魅力的關鍵不在於你花多少時間跟對方互動，而在於你能不能適時活在當下，讓別人感受到你對他們的全然關注，展現出你對他們的重視。 魅力之所以重要，是因為我們在日常生活中要隨時扮演說服者的角色。有魅力的人能發揮他／她的影響力及熱情，透過一舉一動正面去感染身邊的人。這種擴散效應便會對工作團隊、甚至整個公司創造正向循環的氛圍，讓組織在潛移默化中逐步改變。 這本書從拆解魅力舉止的三大核心元素－臨在感、影響力與親和力著手，談到各種可以產生魅力行為的內心狀態，也提到如何移除干擾我們展現魅力的內在障礙，再介紹到四種不同的魅力風格：專注、遠見、仁慈與權威，並加上情境應用，把如何培養魅力的技巧一一呈現給讀者，讓我們了解原來魅力並非成功人士的專屬，每個人都能找出適合自己的魅力風格。我相信只要能打從心底散發出真誠及善意，按照書中的技巧不斷地練習，我們都能成為一個有自己獨特魅力的個體。
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Alex When I went entered the business arena in 2012, I didn't have this book to reference, so I figured it all out on my own. And, I came up with the same …moreWhen I went entered the business arena in 2012, I didn't have this book to reference, so I figured it all out on my
own. And, I came up with the same formula as Olivia is suggesting. Yes, it works. Let go of having to overanalyze and be right all the time, learn to read people (HINT: listening and observing and asking questions go a long way), and be willing to adapt a fluid communication skill set (HINT: listening, asking questions once again). Charisma is really just an invitation for others to receive more. At the time I had a tribe of fellow business women with whom to bounce ideas and
talk shop. It really helps to be around people moving forward at the same speed you are. (Doesn't that seem like the solution to all of life, really?) This response appears to have taken on an entrepreneurial flavor, but it can work in any position or situation.(less) Community Reviews· 16,709 ratings · 967 reviews Start your review of 魅力學：無往不利的自我經營術
This
book helped me a lot with the skills of public speaking. It’s due to the practicality of it. To be honest, there are not many books that would be so loaded with different exercises and strategies. As we know, charisma is something we see, however, being charismatic starts from within. It starts with the way we perceive ourselves. Our internal state is presented externally, so we cannot be charismatic if there is something wrong going on within our body and mind. My top 3 takeaways
are: My top 3 takeaways are:
If we define an introvert as someone who loses energy from social activity and an extrovert as someoe who gains energy from them, then I have
usually been an introvert, enjoying social interaction but needing considerable time to recharge afterwards. Since reading this book, however, this seems to have changed: I just came back from a three-day meetup feeling refreshed and energetic, and the very thought of being social has started feeling much more enticing. I stil get momentarily drained of me If we define an introvert as someone who loses energy from social activity and an extrovert as
someoe who gains energy from them, then I have usually been an introvert, enjoying social interaction but needing considerable time to recharge afterwards. Since reading this book, however, this seems to have changed: I just came back from a three-day meetup feeling refreshed and energetic, and the very thought of being social has started feeling much more enticing. I stil get momentarily drained of mental energy *right after* social interaction, but I recover much quicker and feel better
afterwards. In principle, these effects might be temporary, as the effects of many self-help books tend to be. But this book feels different, because rather than giving me some new technique that I might use for a while and then forget about once it was no longer exciting, it made me realize that I was already doing some of the things that it said that I should be doing, just without realizing it. Previously I had always felt bad about the fact that I wasn't very talkative, and often
had difficulties coming up with things to say. Naturally, being self-conscious about this fact would make me nervous and panicky about "what should I say!" in conversations, making the issue worse. Probably the biggest single thing that the book did was to make me realize that the most of a person's charisma actually comes from general demeanor and body language, meaning that a person can be charismatic even if they're not very talkative. The book also made me realize that I already
naturally had some of the kinds of charisma that it described, particularly the ones that it calls "focus" and "kindness" charisma. In brief, "focus" charisma comes from giving the other person your full attention and being genuinely interested in what they have to say, whereas "kindness" charisma comes from having compassion and warmth towards them. Both kinds of mental states then become reflected in your facial expressions, body language and voice. Being interested in other people and being
sympathetic to their concerns and problems are already among my natural tendencies, and the book taught me that I can actually improve my social skills by just focusing on and tapping into those two tendencies. (The book also discusses "visionary" charisma, which I don't tap into as often but which I do still access to times, and "authority" charisma, which goes more outside most of my natural tendencies.) In addition, the book also gave a number of exercises and techniques which I could use to
further strengthen those tendencies, or to improve my social skills in general.
Loy Machedo’s Book Review: The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism by Olivia Fox Cabane There are some books which you cannot put down. And then there are certain
books that you can read over and over again. Olivia Fox Cabane’s book fuses the ethos of Social Psychology, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Neuropsychology Research with Emotional Intelligence and the Zen Buddhist Philosophies to come up with The Charisma Myth. After reading Robert B. Cialdini’s There are some books
which you cannot put down. And then there are certain books that you can read over and over again. Olivia Fox Cabane’s book fuses the ethos of Social Psychology, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Neuropsychology Research with Emotional Intelligence and the Zen Buddhist Philosophies to come up with The Charisma Myth. After reading Robert B. Cialdini’s book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion and Yes!: 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive, I would say this another landmark book in my
collection. In The Charisma Myth, Olivia Fox Cabane makes a compelling argument that charisma is the product of a certain mindset and behaviors which are both attainable and trainable. The book proves effective with its list of quotes, anecdotes, thought-provoking theories and logical explanations. For a NLP & Hypnosis practitioner like me, any book that involves a practice-till-you-perfect approach is always a welcome addition. So if you feel this is a book that only gives you
an entertaining read, well get surprised. It also has a list of to-do items that you can keep working on and perfect over a period of time. Oh by the way, there are a lot of processes described in this book which are nothing short of the NLP model of behaving. Most of the principles stated give you a Déjà vu of the Principles promulgated by Richard Bandler & John Grinder and yes, in time made famous by Tony Robbins. To grab your attention in the beginning, Fox begins her book by
stating the amazing story of Marilyn Monroe and how she incorporated Charisma that made her transform from Norma Jeane Mortenson to the Legendary Sensual Goddess of Hollywood. Then she states the following tips, that makes you want to read more. The book takes the approach of focusing on your mindset, your attitude,
choice of behaviors, what you think, your body language and that in turn affects and impacts how you communicate. The chapters in the book are as follows: If I were to compile her words of wisdom, here are some of the pointers she shares. Overall, I enjoyed this book thoroughly and feel there is a lot I can learn from this book – but then the only question is, how much are you willing to apply and practice? That is the
question which I believe will make the big difference. A worthwhile read and amazing investment. Overall rating Loy Machedo
Reader, pass by! How is this book different from so many other self-help books which promote good deportment? Answer: Not very. For an author who brags throughout the book about her lofty
credentials and celebrated clientele, this is pretty thin stuff — and rather stingy with its insights, too. “Charisma” is a myth in American commercial culture — the world of magazines and TV pundits. “Charisma” is a word deployed as a figure of public relations (or uncritical journalism), to suggest that a per “Charisma” is a myth in American commercial culture — the world of magazines and TV pundits. “Charisma” is a word deployed as a figure of public relations (or uncritical journalism), to suggest that a person's popularity, or celebrity, is not the result of anything so mundane as an affable manner plus good publicity, but
rather some ineffable quality known as charisma. The Charisma Myth does not explain the myth of charisma; instead it says that charisma is not innate, but can be taught. It is at least half-right about that. However, what the book expounds is merely that which, in a previous era, would have been called, “deportment.” Good deportment may be a necessary condition for charisma, but it is far from sufficient. You could follow all the lessons in this book and you still wouldn’t
have “charisma,” because it attaches to a person who — in addition to good deportment — has already achieved some measure of fame or infamy, celebrity or notoriety, among the persons she (or he) meets. Charisma is in the eye of the beholder, and it cannot be controlled entirely by the vigor of one’s handshake, the rhythm of one’s speech, or even the sincerity of one’s attitude. If you need to improve your meet’n’greet tactics, this book will do fine. But if you want charisma, make sure your strategy includes the services of a good public-relations firm, a savvy advance team, or — best of all — a journalist who will describe you as already possessing “charisma.” ...more
Add this book to the list of things you should learn in school but don't.
Note, I listened to the audiobook vs. reading the book. The book stays the point and delivers in what it promises regarding the science of personal magnetism. It presents the multiple styles of chrisma, details each
chrisma, and dwells into how one can use it within their own lives. The book is detailed and gives you a strong understanding of the different actions a charismatic person uses. Unfortunately, the detailed nature of the book is its own demise. In the book "7 habits of highly successful The book stays the point and delivers in what it promises regarding the science of personal
magnetism. It presents the multiple styles of chrisma, details each chrisma, and dwells into how one can use it within their own lives. The book is detailed and gives you a strong understanding of the different actions a charismatic person uses. Unfortunately, the detailed nature of the book is its own demise. In the book "7 habits of highly successful people", the author states that there are numerous books that are focusing on "personality improvement" vs. "character improvement". To the
author, personality improvement are quick fixes to problems and only create the shadow of a person with the desired personality. As such, the author believes that focus should be placed deeper down on the character. Personality stems from the character of the individual, and focusing on personality is not as effective as on the character. This is what I accept as well. "The Charisma Myth" focuses on the personality of the individual and never changes any part of the individual's
character. It has numerous quick fixes to problems, but never gives core principles to carry away. It is difficult to remember the quick fixes mentioned in the book. It would have been more effective if the author presented core principles with quick fixes for each principle. In this way, you can take away the principles with you. Having said that, I did listen to this book rather than read it. This has an inherent impact on the absorption of the material. It may simply be the case that
reading the book will be more effective and you will remember more of it. In either case, I still recommend this book to get the overall picture of a charismatic individual.
This is a practical book. I read this book a week before facing to a stressful interview. So I really had an incentive to learn. I practiced the techniques on total strangers I met the street as well as on people at
work. The results were immediate, amazing and they turned out to be some of the most memorable interactions that I've had with anyone, ever. (I apologize for using that over-used american superlative, but it really is true.) A week later, I faced the interview, breezed through it, an I read this book a week before facing to a stressful interview. So I really had an incentive to learn. I practiced the techniques on
total strangers I met the street as well as on people at work. The results were immediate, amazing and they turned out to be some of the most memorable interactions that I've had with anyone, ever. (I apologize for using that over-used american superlative, but it really is true.) A week later, I faced the interview, breezed through it, and felt really good about myself. I'm sure I left an impression on the interviewers, but more than that I left a lasting impression on myself. Do
yourself a favor. Get this book. Read it, but more importantly, practice the things in it. Your interactions with others will change by orders of a magnitude.
This review is for the Audible version, not the printed version. There is some pretty good information in here, but it's limited. I didn't benefit from much of it because the narrator sounds like a teenager. I think that
it's quite possible this book could be worth 4 or 5 stars if actually read instead of listened to, but I wouldn't know because the narrator was so off-putting that I tuned her out over and over. Overall: There is some pretty good information in here, but it's limited. I didn't
benefit from much of it because the narrator sounds like a teenager. I think that it's quite possible this book could be worth 4 or 5 stars if actually read instead of listened to, but I wouldn't know because the narrator was so off-putting that I tuned her out over and over. Overall:
This book was a great accompaniment to my commute. I listened to it daily and treated it like a great daily vitamin. It gave me valuable input to think about my own behavior. As the author defines the term,
charisma is an acquired set of behavior, verbal and non-verbal, that display confidence and power.
So what is charisma? According to Cabane, it is the trifecta of power, presence, and warmth. All three can be cultivated, promoted, and used in both serene and stressful situations. Olivia
Cabane does an exquisite job of breaking down charisma into a manageable and replicable form for anyone. Contrary to the popular myth, technical wizardry and intellectual brilliance are not enough to win the day. Instead, infusing yourself with powerful charisma can transform your personal and professional life Olivia Cabane does an exquisite job of breaking down charisma into a manageable and replicable form for anyone. Contrary to the popular myth, technical wizardry and intellectual brilliance are not enough to win the day. Instead, infusing yourself with powerful charisma can transform your personal and professional life. Cabane also offers many practical and easy-to-implement techniques (e.g. destigmatizing guilt and shame; dedramatizing stressful
situations; rewriting negative realities). These techniques are powerful ways to design a "charismatic mind" that will automatically produce an 'aura of charisma'. The four types of charisma described in the book are: Although it may seem like this is a book ONLY for the charismatically challenged, let me assure you, it is not. Anyone interested in increasing or optimizing their personal effectiveness, leadership skills, or
influence in the workplace, this book is for you. As I read through it, I often wished that bosses-of-times-past had become intimately acquainted with the book.
Despite the title, the book didn't dispel the myth that charisma can be learned. If you've read articles or books on public speaking, you'll find many of the same recommendations in this book -- be authentic, really listen to people, be willing to be
vulnerable and reveal something personal about yourself, practice and visualize your presentations, and mirror the person whom you want to build a rapport. There were a few suggestions that were new for me: divide and conquer (convince your detracto Despite the title, the book didn't dispel the myth that charisma can be learned. If you've read articles or books on public speaking, you'll find many of the same recommendations in this book -- be
authentic, really listen to people, be willing to be vulnerable and reveal something personal about yourself, practice and visualize your presentations, and mirror the person whom you want to build a rapport. There were a few suggestions that were new for me: divide and conquer (convince your detractors separately, not when they're all together in a big, important meeting), dress well and comfortable (look good but not go overboard that you're uncomfortable and give off a negative body
language), and reframe stressful situations into positive ones (such as instead of thinking about how you might mess up a presentation, think about how you got this assignment because your boss has such confidence in your abilities). While the author may have helped her clients become charismatic, I don't think it's something that can simply be learned from a book. It probably requires a coach understanding what you're facing and giving advice that specifically address your problems. If
charisma could be gained through authentically wanting to connect with the person, listening intently, and mirroring, we would have learned it in high school.
One of the troubles with writing up book notes long after the book has been read is that only a vague impression remains. Having reviewed it now, though, I can say that I actually absorbed some of it (woohoo,
this doesn't always happen!) and there's plenty of interesting things in it. I'm interested in charisma mostly because a) I don't think I have much and think it's useful and b) my ex-boss had it in bags and it was kind of fascinating. Crazy, horrible, self-obsessed, psychotic and still she I'm interested in charisma mostly because a) I don't think I have much and think it's useful and b) my ex-boss had it in bags and it was kind of fascinating. Crazy, horrible, self-obsessed, psychotic and still she could make people like her (including me) and do what she wanted. Kind of like a superpower being used for evil ends. She made me really wonder, what are
the component parts of this thing? How does it happen? Right at the beginning Fox Cabane establishes that charisma is not something one is born with - "Contrary to popular belief, people are not simply born charismatic- innately magentic from birth. If charism were an inherent attribute, charismatic people would always be captivation, and that's not just the case…As extensive research in recent years has shown, charisma is the result of specific non verbal behaviours, not an inherent or
magical personal quality. This is one of the reasons why charism levels fluctuate: its presence depends on whether or not someone is exhibiting these behaviours." (Loc 109) (using Location references rather than pages as that's why my Kindle is doing at the moment!) Still in the early part of the book, she says "The equation that produces charisma is actually fairly simple. All you have to do is give the impression that you possess both high power and high warmth, since charismatic
behaviours project a combination of these two qualities…A final dimension underlies both of these qualities: presence." (Loc 134) One point that is made repeatedly is that you can't fake any of this. Whatever is in your mind will show in your face or body language and humans are built to interpret micro-expressions. So you have to believe the warmth you are exhibiting or it will come across as insincere. She makes a great point regarding uncertainty that I've actually held on to for
these weeks. She writes "It's worth learning how to handle uncertainty, not just because it increases charisma but also because the ability to be comfortable with uncertainty and ambiguity turns out to be one of the strongest predictors of success in business." (Loc 580) The technique she most recommends for dealing with uncertainty is Responsibility Transfer - it is what it sounds like, visualising that a benevolent entity takes charge of whatever is worrying you. My impression is that it isn't
so much about *believing* in a particular entity, rather it's about diverting your mind from chasing around in circles worrying about something over which you have little or no control. A few interesting things come up in the discussion about handling obstacles. "Skillfully handling any difficult experience is a three-step process: destigmatise discomfort, neutralise negativity and rewrite reality." (Loc 735). The point is made that often we beat ourselves up for feeling bad about
something, which of course makes everything worse. Destigmatising is simply remembering that whatever you're feeling is a normal part of being human. I also really like a quote about rewriting reality - "One charismatic entrepreneur told me: "I decide to interpret everything favourably toward myself. It's not just that I'm optimistic, I'm actually conveniently deluded. Why does this work? Once again, we can thank the brains' tendency to accept imagination as reality." I love the idea of
"convenient delusion". I at least get so wrapped up in trying to think things through correctly, be right, predict correctly…but it does me no good in many cases because you can't know lots of things…bring on the convenient delusions, I say. She moves on to discuss different types of charisma, what differentiates them, and when to use each (if you're able) - there's Authority Charisma, Visionary Charisma, Focus Charisma, and Kindness Charisma. There are exercises and key takeaways
in each chapter and chatter summaries and exercises gathered separately at the end of the book which is really useful. So, all in all, well worth a read if you're interested in the topic and you will probably come away having learned something useful. Now, I'm off to mesmerise my husband. heee.
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. This is a book about for the people who wants to be charismatic. This book tells us how to be successful, how to make people think you are a leader, how to present yourself on a stage, How to make someone feel positive about you and what it takes to be the best person whom people see’s everyday.The Art of being Charismatic starts within you. There is no such thing for us to do to be just you, But to be a charismatic one, there are certain things which needs to be followed. Basically, Practice. T This is a book about for the people who wants to be charismatic. This book tells us how to be successful, how to make people think you are a leader, how to present yourself on a stage, How to make someone feel positive about you and what it takes to be the best person whom people see’s everyday.The Art of being Charismatic starts within you. There is no such thing for us to do to be just you, But to be a charismatic one, there are certain things which needs to be followed. Basically, Practice. This books starts of with how Marlyn stole the show by just showing her charismatic appearance out. Charismatic people impact the world whether they’re starting new projects, companies. Charismatic Appearance - Everybody likes to be noticed in a positive way!Charisma gets people to like you, trust you, and want to be led by you. it can determine whether you’re seen as a follower or a leader, whether your ideas get adopted, and how effectively your projects are implemented. Charisma is very critical and crucial join business. This book is a complete guide for people who want to be charismatic and successful. ...more
This book reminded me of Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. To me, it seems that the key differences between the two books are that HTWFAIP creates a list of clear and practical to-do items whereas The Charisma Myth is more conceptual with fewer to-dos. The Charisma Myth describes the various types of charisma: focus, visionary, kindness, and authority, giving overviews and examples
of notable leaders who excelled at each (some multiple at different times). One of Cabane's This book reminded me of Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. To me, it seems that the key differences between the two books are that HTWFAIP creates a list of clear and practical to-do items whereas The Charisma Myth is more conceptual with fewer to-dos. The Charisma Myth describes the various types of charisma: focus, visionary,
kindness, and authority, giving overviews and examples of notable leaders who excelled at each (some multiple at different times). One of Cabane's key points is that we can learn to adjust our charisma and employ a different one depending on the situation and your own goals. Meditation can help us improve any type of charisma in order to increase emotional resilience and awareness of both the nonverbal and verbal cues we emit. One of the more interesting points Cabane makes is that the people
around you tend to try to match nonverbal cues with verbal cues, with nonverbal cues taking precedent over verbal ones if they don't match. If your nonverbal cues, which are rapidly and subconsciously absorbed, are followed with consistent verbal cues, the latter amplifies the former. Thus using visualisations can help us to believe our own words, which will help with making our nonverbal actions more closely align with anything we then proceed to say. Other topics Cabane touches upon: how to listen well (wait before answering), first impressions (the handshake being one of the most important in North America), how to receive compliments (make them feel good about complimenting you), using more visualisations in speeches, and limbic resonance (mimic to establish trust). Worthwhile one-time read though the book could really be summarised in a ~20 bullet points. ...more
Most people think charisma is something you're born with, this book successfully debunks that myth proving that charisma is simply a set of behaviors that can be learned and developed gradually over time. The author wrote detailed guidelines on how to do developed these behaviors combined with very interesting examples and role-models for different types of charisma, which for me was definitely something I
was always curious about. All in all I really enjoyed reading this book and I can say that Most people think charisma is something you're born with, this book successfully debunks that myth proving that charisma is simply a set of behaviors that can be learned and developed gradually over time. The author wrote detailed guidelines on how to do developed these behaviors combined with very interesting examples and role-models for different types of
charisma, which for me was definitely something I was always curious about. All in all I really enjoyed reading this book and I can say that I learned a lot from it. Definitely gonna re-read it soon and would recommend you to check it out! PS. The exercises included as unimportant as they might seem at first do make a difference so give them a try!
This is a mishmash of clichés, magical thinking, bunk from other self-help books, etc. The valuable bits are common sense or ancient wisdom that you can find expressed better in many other sources. It is another of these books that just seem like an infomercial for the author/corporate-coach.
Fantastic book. Cabane is clearly an expert in this field and the techniques described are immediately employable. Not only that but (and here's why the book is
really exciting) the speed at which you will notice how people begin responding to you differently is almost instantaneous, or at least I found it to be after finishing the book. Bonus points to Cabane for explaining that one must actually go through all of the exercises to ultimately reap the benefit. The layout of the book is also expe Fantastic book. Cabane is clearly an expert in this field and the techniques described are immediately
employable. Not only that but (and here's why the book is really exciting) the speed at which you will notice how people begin responding to you differently is almost instantaneous, or at least I found it to be after finishing the book. Bonus points to Cabane for explaining that one must actually go through all of the exercises to ultimately reap the benefit. The layout of the book is also expertly crafted with a handy reference guide at the end. Plus her writing style makes it mostly a pleasure
to read. I feel like this book is a modern day 'How to Win Friends and Influence people', or more accurately is like Dale Carnegie's teachings on steroids. Some key things you will learn: There are different styles of charisma, and you can employ different styles based on your own personality, your audience, and your goals. The principles of being in a charismatic state are tied largely to how you feel, and Cabane will give you a plethora of ways to tweak and enhance your state to achieve
this. Also: The book goes into some detail on why charisma is tied largely to human evolution, which is fascinating, and never crosses the border into the realm of 'interesting but not useful'. Everything in this book is there for a reason, there is no fluff or filler, and it is all useful. Finally, simplified to the extreme, the three cornerstones of mastering charisma are power, presence, and warmth. The book teaches you how to cultivate and express each of these states, meaning
if you largely forget much of what you've read, by and large accessing charismatic states should remain a skill that you can almost always count on. Though you will naturally need discipline to practice and balls (read: courage) to take action. Ten out of ten book.
This is one of the better business psychology books I've read. I think it is actually more of a blend of several
psychology-based books, and brings up many interesting topics. The author touches on the work of Brene Brown, Dale Carnegie, Dan Gilbert, Charles Duhigg, Chip and Dan Heath, Stephen Covey, Kristin Neff, Susan Cain, and Ori and Rom Brafman. She goes over research and studies on shame, self-compassion, warmth, negotiation, extroversion vs. introversion, connection, anxiety, winning peop This is one of the better business psychology books I've read. I
think it is actually more of a blend of several psychology-based books, and brings up many interesting topics. The author touches on the work of Brene Brown, Dale Carnegie, Dan Gilbert, Charles Duhigg, Chip and Dan Heath, Stephen Covey, Kristin Neff, Susan Cain, and Ori and Rom Brafman. She goes over research and studies on shame, self-compassion, warmth, negotiation, extroversion vs. introversion, connection, anxiety, winning people over, first impressions, and even the science behind body
language and vocal intonation. It is well-researched and well-presented. Charisma is essentially made up of three things: presence, power, and warmth. These three skills can be learned and honed, allowing anyone to develop charismatic abilities. I loved that she included warmth, because I feel like this one is so important and is often dismissed in professional settings. The author details specific things that individuals can do to improve the way they are perceived. While some of her advice
is downright hokey and laughable, much of it is actually very interesting and I think her thoughts could help anyone improve, whether they are a public speaker or just someone trying to understand people on a higher level. I only wish she wasn't as enchanted with Bill Clinton. She talks about him incessantly, and I think he is one person who has used his charisma in some really despicable ways. Other than that, I really enjoyed this one, and think it would merit a re-read at some point. Charisma
is such a valuable skill, especially when used well and with kindness.
The book is aimed at professionals keen to improve their charisma, but it's about so much more: The author describes how people form opinions of each other, decide who to trust and who to join
in their mission. I'd recommend it also if you're not interested in professional development but only want to know more about how humans work. It's well-written, easy and even entertaining to read and backed up mainly by stories from her extensive coaching experience, and occasionally also by scientific st The book is aimed at professionals keen to improve their charisma, but it's about so much more: The author describes how people form opinions of
each other, decide who to trust and who to join in their mission. I'd recommend it also if you're not interested in professional development but only want to know more about how humans work. It's well-written, easy and even entertaining to read and backed up mainly by stories from her extensive coaching experience, and occasionally also by scientific studies. Pretty much all her claims seem plausible to me. For those interested in changing their charisma style, there are plenty of exercises
described.
this is a book that i finished, and automatically felt like i should read it again just to further absorb all of the points that she presented. cabane did a great job of distilling something as seemingly elusive as charisma down to attainable points that anyone can practice. she gave very practical tips that i have remembered randomly throughout my day. she believes, and demonstrates through
accounts of her clients, that anyone can be charismatic, even if you are introverted. i can't wait to try she believes, and demonstrates through accounts of her clients, that anyone can be charismatic, even if you are introverted. i can't wait to try everything out!
This is a topic I'm passionate about -- which makes me hard to please. The book is great for people new to the field or individuals trying to increase their star power. Olivia has a strong fundamental grasp of the basics and she explains them very clearly. She's obviously a real pro and I recommend this book highly for people who are new to the world of public speaking, charisma, and presence. This is a topic I'm passionate about -- which makes me hard to please. The book is great for people new to the field or individuals trying to increase their star power. Olivia has a strong fundamental grasp of the basics and she explains them very clearly. She's obviously a real pro and I recommend this book highly for people who are new to the world of public speaking, charisma, and presence. ...more
I had to give up on this one. I kept falling asleep. ;)
Great read, definitely going into my "re-read" rotation. Lots of clear and direct guidance on how to make impactful changes in your day to day interactions. Great read, definitely going into my "re-read" rotation. Lots of clear and direct guidance on how to make impactful changes in your day to day interactions. ...more
When you meet a charismatic person, you get the impression that they have a lot of power and they like you a lot. Individuals with strong internal skills are aware of what exactly is happening inside them and know
how to handle it. They can recognise when their self-confidence has taken a hit and have the tools to get back to a confident state so that their body language remains charismatic. When the physical discomfort can't be alleviated, it's even more important to prevent other people from ta Individuals with strong internal skills
are aware of what exactly is happening inside them and know how to handle it. They can recognise when their self-confidence has taken a hit and have the tools to get back to a confident state so that their body language remains charismatic. When the physical discomfort can't be alleviated, it's even more important to prevent other people from taking your tension personally. The single most effective technique I've found to alleviate the discomfort of uncertainty is the
responsibility transfer. Self-criticism is one of the most common obstacles to great performance in
any field. It's often called the silent killer of business. This mindset (stigmatising discomfort) is one of the main reasons that negative thoughts, emotions, and internal experiences are difficult to handle; we feel they shouldn't be happening. So not only do we feel bad, we then feel bad about feeling bad. Understanding that my thoughts were not necessarily valid was a revelation for me. Which mental state would be most useful in this situation? And which version of reality
would help you get there? Practice: Getting satisfaction - Delving into sensations - sustained partner eye contact To view your life through a third-person lens, write a narrative about yourself cast in a positive
light. Imagine your own funeral. Self-compassion is how much warmth we can have for ourselves, especially when we're going through a difficult experience. Kindness charisma is perfect anytime you want to create an emotional bond or make
people feel safe and comfortable. It can be critical in some situations, such as when you have to deliver bad news. It can also be surprisingly effective when dealing with difficult people. As always, body language trumps all other signs of charisma. Authority charisma (strong displays of status and confidence) has several disadvantages: One way to exit a conversation with grace is to offer something of value. One way to make people feel listened to: Pause before you answer. (showing consideration) You'll know you've listened enough when they say: "Am I talking too much?" Don't try to impress people. Let them impress you and they will love you for it. Believe it or not, you don't need to sound smart. You just need to make them feel smart. Increasing voice fluctuation means making your voice vary in any of the following ways: Pitch (high or low), tempo, volume, tone (resonant or hollow), or rhythm (staccato or fluid) To truly understand the difference when your eyes are relaxed and open, go see the transformation for yourself. Cut out verbal and nonverbal reassurances like head bobbing and excessive uh-huh-ing. Do not answer the phone in a warm or friendly manner. Instead answer crisply and professionally. Only when you know who it is do you let warmth or enthusiasm pour forth in your voice. When you craft the closing of your presentation, keep in mind that we remember primarily beginnings and endings. Just as you want to start on a high note, you also want to end on a high note, so avoid ending with Q&A. It's hard to have Q&A as compelling and energetic as your main speech. Almost inevitably Q&A lowers the energy. Studies consistently show that in times of crisis, people instinctively turn to individuals who are bold, confident and decisive. Crisis creates uncertainty, which creates angst, and people will cling to whatever they feel diminishes this angst. This is why faith, vision, and authority have such power in times of crisis. What you're trying to counter act is shame, and few things work better against shame than admiration. Showing vulnerability and humility make you more relatable and helps to avoid the feeling of alienation, which is a real risk when your charisma gives you a touch of the superhuman. ...more
Some fun tidbits about different types of charism, real-life examples, and exercises to improve your own charisma. It confirmed what I already knew, I need to
be a better listener, but I did learn a few new things also. Overall, an interesting read.
+ I liked the division of charisma in different styles and examples of people having those different charisma styles - too much
internal reference (e.g. "We will cover this in detail in chapter 13", "Lo - too much internal reference (e.g. "We will cover this in detail in chapter 13", "Looking back into chapter 3" and the like), annoying to follow, especially on ebook. If you have to take away one thing from this book, this would be it: 1. Lower the intonation of your voice at
the end of your sentences Overall quite a nice read with re-reading value, 4 out of 5.
I think this book had a lot of great points to it that I do follow myself, and some that I would like to try out. I have listened to certain parts over again and made some useful notes to reference in the future. This has to be my 4th favorite book so far from the books that I have read, as far as self-help books. I was just a little surprised at the confidence level of the author with the definite assurance given that charisma will be achieved after reading this book. It was a good book, but no I think this book had a lot of great points to it that I do follow myself, and some that I would like to try out. I have listened to certain parts over again and made some useful notes to reference in the future. This has to be my 4th favorite book so far from the books that I have read, as far as self-help books. I was just a little surprised at the confidence level of the author with the definite assurance given that charisma will be achieved after reading this book. It was a good book, but not my ultimate favorite. I will still be recommending it to others who I would think could find this useful. ...more
This is really an outstanding book. Olivia Fox Cabane explains how to embrace and develop our charisma in order to become more influential. In this book she tell us what is charisma, how it can be achieved, how it can be handled and what is the effect of charisma. She says to focus on three key behaviors: presence, power, and warmth. These three key behaviours need to flow together in order to make the most of our charisma. While ending the book she also remind us that charisma a powerful tool u This is really an outstanding book. Olivia Fox Cabane explains how to embrace and develop our charisma in order to become more influential. In this book she tell us what is charisma, how it can be achieved, how it can be handled and what is the effect of charisma. She says to focus on three key behaviors: presence, power, and warmth. These three key behaviours need to flow together in order to make the most of our charisma. While ending the book she also remind us that charisma a powerful tool use it responsibly. If you want to become an inspiring and influential person this book is really a good lesson. ...more
Highly recommend for any one who feels that charisma is some inherent talent which can't be learnt. Author stresses the fact that it is like any other skill that can be picked up by anybody over a period of time. She throws light on lot of simple stuffs that charismatic people follow that can seem trivial to the rest of us. The summary and exercises at the end of the book are well curated. Good read indeed. Highly recommend for any one who feels that charisma is some inherent talent which can't be learnt. Author stresses the fact that it is like any other skill that can be picked up by anybody over a period of time. She throws light on lot of simple stuffs that charismatic people follow that can seem trivial to the rest of us. The summary and exercises at the end of the book are well curated. Good read indeed. ...more
really creative and succinctly put. some ideas were familiar, others very intriguing. I like that it also focuses on dealing with anxiety and the unknown. I want to read again and actually
do the exercises. (borrowed audiobook, now considering buying ebook). thanks esther for the rec! An expert in the fields of charisma and leadership, Olivia Fox Cabane has lectured at Stanford, Yale, Harvard, MIT and the United Nations. As a frequent keynote speaker and executive coach to the leadership of
Fortune 500 companies, she helps people increase their ability to influence, persuade, and inspire others. From a base of thorough behavioral science, Olivia extracts the most practical tool From a base of thorough behavioral science, Olivia extracts the most practical tools for business; giving her clients techniques she originally developed for Harvard and MIT. Her course at Berkeley's Business School was so popular that university staff had to guard the entrance to ensure that only admitted students gained entrance. In addition to being a regular columnist for Forbes, Olivia is often featured in media
such as The New York Times, Bloomberg or BusinessWeek; and was recently profiled in The Wall Street Journal. Olivia is the author of "The Charisma Myth," published by Penguin's business book imprint, Portfolio. The book will be released February 16th, 2012. Olivia has both French and American nationalities and is fluent in 4 languages; she is the youngest person ever to have been appointed Foreign Trade Advisor to the French Government. News & InterviewsOctober has arrived, and this month’s batch of incoming titles features some big names, some much-anticipated sequels, and several exotic... “One of the main reasons we’re so affected by our negative thoughts is that we think our mind has an accurate grasp on reality, and that its conclusions are generally valid. This, however, is a fallacy. Our mind’s view of reality can be, and often is, completely distorted.” — 17 likes “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” — 11 likes More quotes…Welcome back. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. |
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